2020 The Year of the Dumpster Fire - Jason Connel - Tyler, TX Lifestyle Photographer

Like the person that owned this car I never thought I would be where I am at today. 2020 was a life changing year. My decisions… my actions… have left me with a lot of thoughts and mixed emotions. In the wake of this year is failed relationships, anger, and pain. Many people around me have suffered greatly. I know that sounds like a horrible way to start a blog post, but its not all bad.

For years I have been unhappy. The people closest to me paid dearly for that. I lied about being happy when I wasn’t. I felt guilty for feeling so miserable when I had so much. I discovered this year who my friends are. I learned what forgiveness really means. There are days its ok to mourn. I’m learning to be happy. I’m learning about myself.

I could give a big long history and a play by play of what happened and how I got here, but the lessons would be lost in the details. To be honest a lot of it is just painful. This is what I learned this year.

If you aren’t happy, you can’t make someone else happy. Happiness comes from within. I’ve seen people, in my life as a photographer, in horrible situations who are still happy. In that moment they had no reason to be happy, but they are. That strength always amazed me. I focused so much of my time and efforts on making others happy I neglected myself.

You only get one shot. It sounds morbid, but its true. You only have so many days to walk this planet, and its too short to be miserable or cause great misery. It doesn’t mean you or I will have an easy life. I certainly don’t ask for that. Searching for the easy life will also bring misery.

Not all decisions are going to be correct ones. For many years I have had a Facebook. I look back and see all the bad that came from it. I didn’t delete my Facebook because of some political reasons or protest. When I sat down and thought about the years of being on that platform, and all the toxicity on it I needed to get it out of my life. At first I started with blocking over half the people on my friends list because of rumors, misconceptions, and other personal issues. That decision caused more pain for some people including family, and it wasn’t a correct decision. What I needed to do was to just cut it out of my life, like sugar. I can come up with many examples, but in the end not all decisions are right. When you encounter one of these decisions its important to take immediate action to correct it.

You can’t live with guilt. Guilt is a anchor to hold you in the past. Your past is your past. Forgive yourself move on. After all God can forgive you, and move on. You should allow yourself to forgive yourself as well.

Get to know yourself. I realized I have neglected myself. I have no idea who I am. Over the years I focused on everyone else in my life. There have been many times I have been asked if I liked something, or presented with a deep personal question. I found myself sitting there with little or no idea on how to answer or address it. This year I’m discovering who I am.

I’ve posted some personal stuff here, so I feel like this was a good way to share and wrap up 2020. Here comes 2021. I’m excited about the future, the struggle, and charging forward in this new chapter in this book called life.

What Are You Reading? - Tyler, Texas Advertising Photographer - Jason Connel

I saw an interview with Seth Godin a couple months ago talking about this book. If you know Godin, he’s written many books on the subject of marketing, but he said this is the one book you need. So, of course when someone is a subject matter expert and has a proven track record, I have learned in my years going around this sun, to listen.

So the question is what’s on your reading list, or what are you reading right now?

Enjoy!

Jason

Bedhead Thoughts - Quarantine Day8: Best Bedhead Yet! - Food Photographer - Hampton Roads, VA

Woke up this morning and had the best head yet. My long-er-ish hairdo is getting more epic everyday. LOL! Funny thing is when this ends it will take another month or two to get in for getting the top knot trimmed. Meanwhile I continue to workout like an inmate. I’m kidding! I’m actually really pretty busy. Excited when this ends. The end is in sight. Maybe… and you will see why in my current events section.

I’m looking forward to today. I have a lot to work on today. A lot of business related work to get done, and planting some greens in the garden.

Sound off below if you could use someone to talk too. No reason to be alone in this, because you aren’t. But hey lets jump on Zoom and chat. Stay safe.

Current events…
- There is a lot of saber rattling with China. Its like the powers of be want to use war to get the ecomic engine of the economies of the world going again. Very concerning.
- Oil prices in negative territory. You know they say, “It will never be worth zero!” You’re right it can be worth less than zero and seeing that the first time in history. I’m thinking about buying 10,000 barrels. They pay me to take it off their hands right?
- China is spying on us here at home. Not my home… Like USA home. Want to be clear I’m not in a cornor making hats out of foil.

Bedhead Thoughts - Quarantine Day 7: But Why?!?! - Headshot Photographer - Hampton Roads, VA

It may seem silly. Over the last week or two I’ve been posting self portraits of myself I took when I first get up in the morning. Why would I do this? It may seem silly, but there is a real and serious reasons why I am doing this type of headshot. However, its also meant to be fun!

So for many years, like many of you, I didn’t like having my photo taken. I had all the reasons. I was very uncomfortable being in front of the camera. Like many it was based on how I perceived my own image. If I’m being 100% honest it was because of my weight that I didn’t want to be in front of the camera. I actually took my first portrait of myself back in October. It took everything I had to step in front of the camera. I was very self-conscious. I must say today its a lot easier.

But why show yourself when you look your absolute worse first thing you may be asking. Its a mental exercise really. The more one does something, especially if its uncomfortable the easier it becomes. As a headshot photographer stepping in front of the camera is something I should be able to do effortlessly. The more confidence I build in things that make me uncomfortable the more assured I grow as a person. We all should push ourselves at least once a day to be at least a little uncomfortable.

Current Events…
- We are learning there have been an all time record in monthly gun sales in this country. Murders rates are at historic lows, and gun accidents are at historic lows. Two things we have learned, one police can’t protect you in all situations sometimes its worth it having a firearm. Secondly, will millions and millions additional guns on the streets doesn’t mean more murders.
- Politicians in Washington DC continue to pander as opposed to helping the problem.
- There is talk of lifting the quarantine soon.
- The Oklahoma bombing was 25 years ago this week.

Prayer request…
- Praying for my Grandfather who is lonely right now.
- Praying for our representatives in DC
- Praying for those working in grocery stores.
- Praying for those who are struggling with mental illness.

Bedhead Thoughts - Quarantine Day 6: I Think - Headshot Photographer - Hampton Roads, VA

It’s not really day 6 but who is keeping track anymore? Does it matter? I contend it does. When we don’t hold ourselves to account and take on the mindset it doesn’t matter is when our systems and brains can sink in to the situation at hand. And fosters laziness, depression, and not an over all good since of worth. We can fight that by getting up everyday and do what we do. Or what we should at least be doing.

If anyone has a perfect jawbreaker brand I’m currently looking for one. Drop a comment below your favorite. Only criteria is it can fit in your mouth.

So here on the homestead doing some gardening…. trying too. Doing a lot of reading, and getting caught up on outstanding invoices and work. Got to talk to a few folks about future endeavors and the positive outlook is nice change of pace.

Going to be doing some videos over on my Youtube to look out for. Some of the videos will be prepardness based to be inline with current events, but there are also some photo based ones.
- Sony A7rII: Yes, in 2020
- F/4 and Be There My Lens Selection Process
- Every Day Carry (EDC) First Line and Second Line Systems
- Common Sense Preparedness At Home

Current Events…
- We are starting to see civil unrest across the country. We have seen protests in Michigan, Ohio, and Kentucky. People are starting to stand for their Constitutional rights mostly surrounding the idea of peacefully assembly.
- Police wrote tickets to church goers in a Kentucky town for an Easter drive-in service in which no one rolled down their windows. Maintaining social distancing guidelines of the quarantine orders. The church is suing the city.
- Stock market has been mostly up.
- Interesting how discussions going on online about the authority of the current administration and the Constitution when the same people said the Constitutions was an outdated irrelevant document during the last administration. Did they have a change of heart, or do they use the document as a weapon to support the prevailing winds? Only time will tell.

Pray for…
- Pray for our light to shine
- Pray for the food supply chain issues
- Pray for our essential workers.
- Pray for positive mental mind set for all those struggling
- Pray for out local elected public servants to not fall for the greed for power that infests DC

Five Photos of my Quarantine - Lifestyle Photographer - Hampton Roads, VA

Here are some images from my life in quarantine. All Images where created with an Sony A7RII and a 90mm f/2.8 Macro G Master lens.

Bedhead Thoughts - Quarantine Day 4: Mental Toughness - Food Photographer - Hampton Roads, VA

Today or was it yesterday…. maybe the day before… I dunno! Ha! It was kinda a rough day. Its hard because each new day presents itself with new possibilities. What do you do with yourself when you can do anything you choose? That may seem like a dream come true, but is it?

I mean we are conditioned from the first day of school to get up, go to work, stand in a line, eat what you are fed, and repeat. We as a society have been trained to do this our entire life, but when you don’t have that anymore it can be troubling. I think that’s when the struggle begins. This is something I’ve learned from my own personal weight loss journey.

Not everyday is going to be amazing and your going to do great, and its going to look like life on Instagram. Some days there is going to be a battle, and that battle will be in yourself. My struggle is I’m always in a hurry. I forget to enjoy the little things a lot. I have a friend, Rick, who always enjoys the little things. No matter what is going on he finds that little something that makes him laugh. I really admire that about him.

Yesterday, I struggled with everything I still what to get done verses all things I would like to be doing in addition to the chores around the house. Needless to say I lost the battle, and at the end of the day I didn’t do a whole lot.

So what can we be doing to keep our spirits up. Turn off the news, and social media is a good start. Assign yourself a personal project. In my case having fun shooting portraits with my ridiculous hair. Move… exercise always makes me feel better. The tougher the activity usually the better you feel. At least it does for me. Finally take some time to invest in yourself. Learn something new, read a book, or spend sometime with your family.

Current events…
- Politicians again doing what they do best. Adding their pet projects to their stimulus bill. Latest one is gun control with the bill. Good grief. What a waste of time.
- The stimulas money is suppose to hit our accounts this week.
- Stock market is on the climb.

Bedhead Thoughts - Quarantine Day 3 - Advertising Photographer - Hampton Roads, VA

How is one suppose to get through quarantine without gummy bears!? What is this world coming too? People are worried about no toilet paper… but when the gummy bear supply goes dry we are in real trouble.

So I made my last grocery run for the month. Just trying to do my part not to catch this or spread it. I made it to the store, and its so out of this world., Its like walking onto a movie set. People have to go through a shoot, and lines are marked every six feet or so. Then you get in the store that has been optimized for showing the widest variety of product in the most efficient and pleasant way, there is little rook to keep your six feet distance. People are wearing masks. The mood is very serious.

Current events…
- The government revises the estimated numbers of deaths down again. Good news. People doing their part is helping.
- Only four more people have contracted the virus in 24 hours in Greene County here.
- Stock market is up again.
- The national politicians are talking about another stimulus plan.
- Sanders dropped out of the presidential campaign.

Prayer List…
- Wisdom for our leaders
- I have a friend going through a divorce.
- Pray for more good news on the virus front.
- More Work

Bedhead Thoughts - Quarantine Day 2 - Product Photographer - Hampton Roads, VA

The last few days have been running together and I have done a horrible job keeping a routine and schedule. Its unlike me to sleep in… to 7:00am. I’ve been staying up too late, and the quarantine gummy bears are out of control. I may need an intervention on those things.

It may seem silly but I have found the key to positive productivity is pants. No really hear me out. I found on the days I get up and do my thing in my PJ’s I get a lot less done than the mornings I get up and get dressed. I think that simple act sets up the rest of the day for productivity.

Over the next week I will focus on the following…

• Creating a To Do List the day before.

• Create a schdule for the day.

• Get to bed at a decent time.

• Act with purpose.

• Drink plenty of water.

Current Events…
- I don’t know I haven’t really looked.
- Turns out the state of New York bought a bunch of ventilators to prepare for a pandemic actually auctioned them off. The governor yelling and screaming at the federal government for help, but turns out sold off its own means to do its job for its people. Classic.
- Senator Rand Paul, who is a docotor, has gotten over COVID-19, and is now volunteering his time at a local hopital.
- Americans are jumping in helping everywhere. I saw story of a man with a plane delivering supplies to small communities.
- California will now arrest people for not wearing masks, but its been cutting people out of prisons early. How are people suppose to get masks when they all went to medical personal?

Prayer list…
- For us for the work
- Praying for the staff at Parkcrest Baptist Church
- Doctor and Nurses
- The Gloden’s: Brother is in ICU with the virus
- Our leaders to find unity and a path forward

Bedhead Thoughts - Quarantine Day 1 - Headshot Photographer - Hampton Roads, VA

This hair do ain’t getting any better. I should’ve gotten a haircut before this, however that ship has sailed. So, covered in drool from the night before and some fantastic locks made from another sleepless night here I go some brain dumps heading your way.

The Governor of Missouri has issued a lock-down of the state. That means state wide all non-essential businesses must close. The lock-down has already been in place for a while now here in Springfield. When you ask… I don’t remember now to be honest. So, I will be sharing my bedhead here everyday and my thoughts on whats going on in the news. Sometimes serious…. sometimes not so much… Ok… mostly not so much…

Current Events….
- Trump to be investigated for his virus response. Really? We have the money for that?! Its like mom is in the kitchen making dinner and dad is grounding the kids for not eating their veggies before dinner is even served.
- Big Dairy is dumping 25,000 gallons of milk at every milking barn while stores are limiting 1 gallon of milk per household, and the shelves are empty. All I have to say is can I at least take a bath in the stuff?
- Stock market jumped up a bunch today.
- Meanwhile people celebrate birthdays today, people where born, and people died.
- Prime Minister of England in ICU for the virus.
- I noticed the virus has been pretty hard on Hollywood today. Whoa!
- More Governors are releasing prisoners out of prison early, and then stripping the right of people to protect themselves with a gun. I don’t get it. People believe the answer is more government, and this clearly demonstrates the government isn’t your mamma they can’t take care of you. More of it isn’t going to be any better.
- I can’t see my daughters, but they are well taken care of by their husbands.

Next issue of bedhead thoughts prayers…. What can I pray for you about?

Happy Birthday - Corona Virus - Advertising Photographer - Hampton Roads, VA

Happy birthday! What a struggle and a blessing it has been. I’m sad that my two older daughters and their husbands couldn’t be here today. But I had my favorite tacos!!! I’m so blessed.

When this all started a few weeks ago. Photoshoots started getting postponed, cancelled, and moved. Then there was a run on the grocery stores. Panic set in and people started cleaning the shelves of toilet paper. Some laughed, but I saw fear. That fear started people panic buying food in the stores. Now millions of people have been laid off, and we are being told the people out of work rival that of the great depression. At the same time there are a lot of great companies hiring! It’s amazing to see American ingenuity at work.

Here is what I know Americans are wonderful, and generous. When we are backed into the a corner is precisely we are our strongest. Its our faith for the one true God and savior Jesus Christ. When we know he is in control, and he is in control, something amazing will come from all this. Its my prayer its a renewal of the American people’s faith. Through the love demonstrated to us on the cross we can poor that same love onto those around us, and we will be stronger than ever. America will once again be the light of the world.

That’s my birthday wish.